New Guided Meditation Practice

I just created a new 10-minute meditation practice for my Stanford Continuing Studies course The Science of a Calmed Mind. It's an introduction to the practice of equaminity -- read below, and download/stream the guided practice for more support!

For more information about the philosophy behind this practice, check out this wonderful article by Aura Glaser in the Shambhala Sun.

Overview from Kelly: In all meditation traditions, it is believed that the foundation for true happiness is overcoming the basic sense of separation from others that most of us have most of the time. This sense of separation includes (but is not limited to) feeling different than, in competition with, judgmental about, or wronged by others.

This meditation will help you observe with mindfulness the thoughts, sensations, and emotions that arise when you think about three (self-created) categories of “others”: friends, enemies, and strangers. It then gives you the opportunity to choose to dissolve the sense of separation by cultivating a sense of “equanimity”—that is, reminding yourself of the essential sameness of friends, enemies, and strangers. This may not be what first comes to mind when you think of happiness, but there is a great deal of wisdom in this notion and in the meditation practice.

The Practice:

Start with some centering breaths and a minute or two of open awareness.

THE FRIEND

Then bring to your mind a “friend.” It could be any loved one, including a relative, a spouse, a child, a friend, a mentor, and even a pet. Choose someone who most naturally inspires in you a sense of trust, care, joy, or affection.
Allow yourself to think about this friend. You can visualize them, recall a favorite interaction, imagine hugging them, or anything that helps bring them to life in your mind. As you do so, bring mindful awareness to your thoughts, physical sensations, and emotions.

Now, for this “friend,” say to yourself:
Just like me, this person wishes to be happy.
Just like me, this person wishes to avoid suffering.
Just like me, this person wants to be loved, to be safe, and to be healthy.
Just like me, this person does not want to feel afraid, inadequate, or rejected.
And just like me, this person does not want to be sick, lonely, or depressed.

You can repeat this process for other “friends” if you like.

THE STRANGER

Next, bring to your mind a “stranger.” It could be anyone who is familiar to you but not well-known, including a co-worker, a neighbor, a checker at your grocery store, the receptionist at your dentist’s office, a celebrity, and so on. Choose someone you really don’t know well, and for whom you do not have any strong feelings of attraction or dislike.
Allow yourself to think about this person. You can visualize them, recall a recent interaction, imagine them doing whatever it is you know them from (e.g. their job), or anything that helps bring them to life in your mind. As you do so, bring mindful awareness to your thoughts, physical sensations, and emotions.

Now, for this “stranger,” say to yourself:
Just like me, this person wishes to be happy.
Just like me, this person wishes to avoid suffering.
Just like me, this person wants to be loved, to be safe, and to be healthy.
Just like me, this person does not want to feel afraid, inadequate, or rejected.
And just like me, this person does not want to be sick, lonely, or depressed.

You can repeat this process for other “strangers” if you like.

THE ENEMY

Finally, bring to your mind an “enemy.” It could be anyone you feel dislike, disgust, hostility, anger, envy, or conflict toward. In some cases, it may be someone who once was a “friend” but for whom you now feel a sense of anger or conflict.
Allow yourself to think about this person. You can visualize them, recall a recent interaction, or anything that helps bring them to life in your mind. As you do so, bring mindful awareness to your thoughts, physical sensations, and emotions. It can be easy to get carried away by these thoughts, especially if you really dive into memories and emotions. Remember to at some point come back to your breath to release the hook.

Now, for this “enemy,” say to yourself:
Just like me, this person wishes to be happy.
Just like me, this person wishes to avoid suffering.
Just like me, this person wants to be loved, to be safe, and to be healthy.
Just like me, this person does not want to feel afraid, inadequate, or rejected.
And just like me, this person does not want to be sick, lonely, or depressed.

You may find this challenging, or feel phony as you say these things about an “enemy.” With time and the sincere desire to cultivate equanimity, the fake-ness of the meditation transforms into a real sense of core human sameness. Have compassion for yourself and any challenges you experience as you work with this process.

You can repeat this process for other “enemies” if you like.

To conclude the practice, take a moment to acknowledge your own heartfelt desire to be happy and free of suffering, which you have honored with this practice.

Does being in a happy relationship make you gain weight?

Interviewed for this article on whether being in a happy relationship saps willpower to lose weight/stay at a healthy weight. (personally, I'd prioritize a happy relationship over losing weight)

"Happiness Takes the Cake" Boston Globe October 15, 2009

Unfortunately, we have been trained over the years to reward ourselves with food, says Kelly McGonigal, a health educator and PhD at Stanford University. “If you celebrate your good mood with high-fat foods, recent research suggests that the brain gets tricked by the fat molecules into ignoring signals of fullness, so you keep eating,’’ McGonigal says.

Although it’s tempting, McGonigal warns me that my ticket back to Skinnyville is not making myself miserable. In fact, she explains that stress, fear, and depression are triggers for eating even more.

Summary of Research on Meditation and Brain Changes

I prepared this summary of research on meditation and neuroplasticity for the Yoga Service Council. We're putting together research reviews and "best practices" recommendations across a wide range of topics to support individuals in the yoga and healthcare communities. We hope that these resources will help individuals apply for funding, bring yoga/meditation into a new clinical or educational setting, and develop evidence-based interventions.

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The brain, once thought to be relatively fixed in structure and hard-wired in function, has been shown in the last decade to be remarkably responsive to experience. Mindfulness meditation and yoga appear to have positive neuroplastic effects, supporting both structure and function related to improved attention, memory, self-regulation, and mood.

For example, multiple studies have shown that long-term meditators have increased neuron density and preserved structure in areas of the brain (such as the prefrontal cortex, hippocampus, temporal gyrus, and insula) associated with attention, memory, self-awareness, self-control, and emotion regulation. (1-4) Long-term meditators have also shown increased gray matter density in the brain stem, which may be related to improved self-control and emotion regulation. (5)

Research also demonstrates positive differences in brain function. For example, experienced meditators, compared to those with less or no meditation experience, show increased activation in areas of the brain associated with attention during tasks that require focus. (6-7) Experienced meditators also perform better on tasks that require focused attention and cognitive flexibility. (8-10)

The neuroplastic effects of meditation and yoga also include positive mood changes. A single session of yoga has been shown to increase brain levels of GABA, which is associated with reduced anxiety and improved mood. (10) An eight-week training program in mindful meditation and yoga led to changes in frontal brain activation--increased left prefrontal activity--associated with positive emotions and well-being. (11) A similar training helped preserve increased left prefrontal activity in previously suicidal individuals, preventing further deterioration of mood. (12) Meditation experience is also associated with increased activation of brain regions (such as the cingulate cortex and insula) associated with empathy for others. (13) A meditation intervention has been shown to increase experience of positive emotions, and these changes in mood further predicted increased sense of purpose in life and social support, and decreased illness and depression. (14)

In summary, mindfulness and yoga are potentially valuable tools for improving cognitive function, self-regulation, and mood, in part because of how they influence the structure and function of the brain.

-Written and References Compiled by Kelly McGonigal, PhD

References
1. Luders E, Toga AW, Lepore N, Gaser C. The underlying anatomical correlates of long-term meditation: Larger hippocampal and frontal volumes of gray matter. NeuroImage. 2009;45:672–78.
2. Hölzel BK, Ott U, Gard T, Hempel H, Weygandt M, Morgen K, Vaitl D. Investigation of mindfulness meditation practitioners with voxel-based morphometry. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2008;3(1):55-61.
3. Lazar SW, Kerr CE, Wasserman RH, Gray JR, Greve DN, Treadway MT, McGarvey M, Quinn BT, Dusek JA, Benson H, Rauch SL, Moore CI, Fischl B. Meditation experience is associated with increased cortical thickness. Neuroreport. 2005;16(17):1893-7.
4. Pagnoni G, Cekic M. Age effects on gray matter volume and attentional performance in Zen meditation. Neurobiol Aging. 2007;28(10):1623-7.
5. Vestergaard-Poulsen P, van Beek M, Skewes J, Bjarkam CR, Stubberup M, Bertelsen J, Roepstorff A. Long-term meditation is associated with increased gray matter density in the brain stem. Neuroreport. 2009;20(2):170-4.
6. Brefczynski-Lewis JA, Lutz A, Schaefer HS, Levinson DB, Davidson RJ. Neural correlates of attentional expertise in long-term meditation practitioners. Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2007;104(27):11483-8.
7. Baron Short E, Kose S, Mu Q, Borckardt J, Newberg A, George MS, Kozel FA. Regional brain activation during meditation shows time and practice effects: An exploratory FMRI study. Evid Based Complement Alternat Med. 2007 Oct 27[Epub].
8. Slagter HA, Lutz A, Greischar LL, Francis AD, Nieuwenhuis S, Davis JM, Davidson RJ. Mental training affects distribution of limited brain resources. PLoS Biol. 2007;5(6):e138.
9. Moore A, Malinowski P. Meditation, mindfulness and cognitive flexibility.
Conscious Cogn. 2009;18(1):176-86.
10. Garland E, Gaylord S, Park J. The role of mindfulness in positive reappraisal. Explore (NY). 2009;5(1):37-44.
10. Streeter CC, Jensen JE, Perlmutter RM, Cabral HJ, Tian H, Terhune DB, Ciraulo DA, Renshaw PF. Yoga asana sessions increase brain GABA levels: A pilot study. J Altern Complement Med. 2007;13(4):419-26.
11. Davidson RJ, Kabat-Zinn J, Schumacher J, Rosenkranz M, Muller D, Santorelli SF, Urbanowski F, Harrington A, Bonus K, Sheridan JF. Alterations in brain and immune function produced by mindfulness meditation. Psychosom Med. 2003;65(4):564-70.
12. Barnhofer T, Duggan D, Crane C, Hepburn S, Fennell MJ, Williams JM. Effects of meditation on frontal alpha-asymmetry in previously suicidal individuals. Neuroreport. 2007;18(7):709-12.
13. Lutz A, Brefczynski-Lewis J, Johnstone T, Davidson RJ. Regulation of the neural circuitry of emotion by compassion meditation: effects of meditative expertise. PLoS One. 2008;3(3):e1897.
14. Fredrickson BL, Cohn MA, Coffey KA, Pek J, Finkel SM. Open hearts build lives: Positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2008;95(5):1045-62.

STUDY: Wealth, Fame, and Beauty Make You Miserable

“I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I’m living, so different now from how it seemed….now life has killed the dream I dreamed.”

When Susan Boyle first sang those lyrics on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent, they seemed to herald a lifelong dream come true.

They take on a different meaning now that her meteoric rise to fame has landed her in the hospital. At the time I’m writing this, Boyle is being treated for a nervous breakdown. Her reported last words at Britain’s Got Talent: “I hate this show.”

Why did the story have to end this way? As we watched her triumphant debut, the crowd’s standing ovation, and the judges’ sentimental praise, we all felt that a life was being changed before our eyes.

And so it was. Susan Boyle’s performance earned her instant fame and wide acclaim. There was talk of book deals and record deals. Even her image got an upgrade, thanks to a Hollywood-style makeover.

It was everything an aspiring singer could hope for. And that may be exactly why things went wrong for Susan Boyle.

We expect that when our dreams come true, happiness will at last be ours. But a new study by psychologists at the University of Rochester, NY, finds exactly the opposite. Achieving fame, wealth, and beauty does not guarantee happiness. Instead, it can be a quick road to hell.

For this study, the researchers asked 246 adults to rate the importance of six life goals: three that sound pretty wholesome (to be physically healthy, to grow and learn new things, to help others improve their lives), as well as three goals that sound more like the modern American (Idol) dream: to be wealthy, to be admired by many people, and to achieve a desired appearance.

One year later, researchers checked in to find out how well the participants had attained their goals. They also tracked how happy and healthy the participant were. Those who pursued and attained the more wholesome goals were, as you might expect, feeling great. But attaining fame, money, or appearance had absolutely no relationship to happiness. There was no boost in self-esteem, satisfaction with life, or mood. The more participants succeeded at these goals, the worse off they were: higher anxiety, worse mood, and more health problems.

How does success turn into depression? Consider it a contrast effect. No matter what spiritual or psychological advice we are given, it’s almost impossible to imagine we won’t be happier when we’re famous, wealthy, and beautiful. In modern society, we accept as self-evident that stardom leads to happiness. This belief is part of our collective story about how the world works. Talent discovery shows—like Britain’s Got Talent or American Idol—are popular in part because they tap into and exploit this deeply-held belief.

But while some accomplishments are truly satisfying, the rewards of fame, fortune, and image are all smoke and mirrors. They look wonderful from the outside, but from the inside, you can see through the illusion. Instant fame is a poor substitute for real connection. Personal fortune is less nourishing than personal growth. And a makeover is a shallow achievement—even for a 48-year-old Scotswoman who claims to have never been kissed.

What we’ve witnessed in the reality TV journey of Susan Boyle is the cruelest kind of reality check. When a lifelong dream comes true, and the gap between what you expected and what you experience is so vast, the only rational response is a breakdown.

Many of us fear that we will never achieve a lifelong dream that seems out of reach. But perhaps we should be more afraid that we spend our lives chasing goals that cannot provide lasting happiness.

The same study points to how we might achieve more satisfying happiness: participants who pursued learning, community, and health were better off over time. It might be time to take a look at your own goals, and devote your energy to the less glamorous but reliably rewarding sources of well-being.

Study source:
The path taken: Consequences of attaining intrinsic and extrinsic aspirations in post-college life. Christopher P. Niemiec, Richard M. Ryana, and Edward L. Deci. Journal of Research in Personality 43 (June 2009) 291–306.